Thursday, December 22, 2011
I am getting ahead of myself. I can’t talk about snow until I tell you about my geranium adventure. Mountain gardening is quite different than gardening in, say, South Carolina. In South Carolina, where it gets so hot and humid in the summer that my children used to come inside from playing and walk directly into the fridge to cool off, (we have a walk-in fridge in the SC house because I used to cater a lot when I was a real working person and not just a Trailing Spouse), you have to worry about your plants burning up and you have to water them every, single day or they will die overnight.
I was hoping, when I Googled “overwintering geraniums” that the answer would be something simple like, “bring them inside, you idiot”. No. Well, okay, you can bring them inside if YOUR HUSBAND WILL BUY YOU A GREENHOUSE, which mine will not. I asked. He laughed. He is such a tightwad.
These durned geraniums are going to be the death of me. About two weeks ago, when I first started getting in the Christmas spirit, I was eyeing all of the lovely, empty planters in which the geraniums had recently resided. Hmmm, I said to myself. I could make some really alpine-y Christmas decorations out of those planters for the balconies. So, I spent two days cutting down evergreen branches from my yard, filling the planters and attaching big red bows on the front. Awesome! Look how pretty! I’m like a Swiss Martha Stewart! I even made Mr. Big install four spotlights in the yard to shine up upon all that loveliness.
Friday, December 9, 2011
Is there anybody here who didn’t read Under the Tuscan Sun or see the movie? The funniest parts of the book were where the author had to adapt to the ways of a small, Italian village. I have been doing some adapting myself to life in Chatel. Remember I told y’all that the name of the valley is the Vallee d’Abondance? Well, it turns out that we have our very own cows in our valley called, obviously, Abondance Cows who make, of course, Abondance Cheese. Go ahead, google it. It’s legit. So, if you ever go in a Dean and DeLuca, ask the deli guy if he can get Abondance cheese and then we can have like a Karma connection across 5,000 miles and eat our Abondance cheese together.
The very next day, the cows got out AGAIN! Obviously, once they had had a taste of a manicured lawn they were unhappy with their wild pasture land and they were back for more deliciousness.
The next day the whole Farmer family came to get all of the cows. Apparently, the cows were being banished to their barn for the winter for misbehaving and running amok in our neighborhood. I was so mad! It was all my neighbor’s fault! No more cowbells ‘til spring. Now I just get to listen to Mr. Big swearing at the walls all winter long.